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First Full Week (Week 2)

Week 2 has come and gone but not with some confusion of the rules.

The controversy surrounding the number of goalie starts begins with the change from last year's requirement of two to 4 initially. The Commissioner admits that this change was made without announcement and with no mention in the rule changes discussed over the off-season. This has caused problems between the returning franchises and the expansion teams. The Commissioner has announced today that for the remainder (and vast majority) of the season, the requirement for goalie starts will be three (3).

Last week saw last year's champions suffer another humiliating loss, this time at the hands of AmIGone. While it is still too early to fix any team in their position, Nocturne's Killers are looking for a little inspiration to avoid being Nocturne's Lament. Meanwhile, Mighty Taco and DaZ fought a close battle with DaZ emerging the 1-point victor. This keeps both teams high in the Yahoo rankings (divisional rankings to follow soon), an outcome neither can be too sad about. Both teams looked evenly matched - their previous wins look less like an upset and more like the start of a trend. The Stingrays continued their early season dominance by trouncing Wicked Pissahs. The Pissahs went from one of the highest hitting teams in Week 1 to the lowest in Week 2 - will inconsistency be the byword for this team? The Underdogs again proved themselves to be a misnomer as they cowed Margaritas on their way to first place in the league, followed closely by Stingrays and DaZ.

This week, the Stingrays air all their grievances against the Commissioner's team in an all-out Casino Royale! James Bond will be on hand to throw out the first puck - don't miss it! In another top match, Ice Kinkajous and The Underdogs fight in a match worthy of Ali vs. Frasier, though considerably less well attended. Oh and ahh as these heavy-weights of the Zamboni throw down (or fall down) on the ice! In a grudge match of titanic proportions, Mighty Taco and Nocturne's Killers look for supremacy in the Bowman division! It may not be Cain vs. Abel, but it will be biblical... Meanwhile, Thunder Bay and Wicked Pissahs each look for a way out of the basement labyrinth. Don't expect David Bowie to show up, though - He's adverse to the ice. Margaritas look to keep the Chiefs from staying above .500 while the Chiefs, who finally figured out how to capitalize their name, look to capitalize on their recent aquisitions. Perhaps their success will rival that of the Flying V! Finally, the RedBombers look to leverage their position against DaZ to bring about a power shift by capitalizing on their core competencies to lessen the quality gap. Sounds Thrilling!

The Highs and Lows of Week 2:

Skaters:
G: 13 (DaZ); 5 (Wicked Pissahs)
A: 23 (Mighty Taco); 8 (Wicked Pissahs)
+/-: 12 (AmIGone); -11 (Wicked Pissahs)
PIM: 44 (Wicked Pissahs); 12 (Ice Kinkajous)
PPP: 15 (Mighty Taco); 7 (Nocturne's Killers, Wicked Pissahs, Margaritas)
SHP: 1 (Mighty Taco, Margaritas, Ice Kinkajous, RedBombers); 0 (everyone else)
SOG: 100 (Stingrays I); 68 (The Underdogs)
FW: 107 (Ice Kinkajous); 49 (Margaritas)

Goalies:
W: 5 (Margaritas); 1 (Thunder Bay, RedBombers)
GAA: 1.76 (AmIGone, DaZ); 4.18 (Thunder Bay)
SV: 182 (Margaritas); 66 (Thunder Bay)
SV%: 0.946 (DaZ); 0.848 (RedBombers)
SHO: 2 (AmIGone); 0 (all other but Nocturne's Killers)

Season Highs (week of record in parentheses):

Skaters:
G: 14 - Wicked Pissahs (1)
A: 23 Mighty Taco (2)
+/-: 17 - Stingrays I (1)
PIM: 57 Wicked Pissahs (1)
PPP: 17 - Wicked Pissahs (1)
SHP: 2 - DaZ (1)
SOG: 101 - Wicked Pissahs (1)
FW: 107 - Wicked Pissahs (1), Ice Kinkajous (2)

Goalies:
W: 5 - Margaritas (2)
GAA: 0.75 - Nocturne's Killers (1)
SV: 182 - Margaritas (2)
SV%: 0.973 - Nocturne's Killers (1)
SHO: 2 - Nocturne's Killers (1), AmIGone (2)

The Season Begins (Week 1)

The season has begun and parity looks to be the word to best describe the events of the first week. Of the top three teams from the 2006 season, the best showing was from the reigning champions, Nocturne's Killers, who lost to Wicked Pissahs 6-7. AmIGone lost their season opener with a devastating 3-7 loss to Mighty Taco, most likely due to a bad case of indigestion; their goalies certainly choked. It went worse for Thunder Bay, losing 3-8 to the inappropriately named The Underdogs. Offensive performance was lacking in Thunder Bay's return as was a good GAA.

In contrast to the returning champions, the expansion teams came out relatively strong, with Stingrays tying the Chiefs (now properly capitalized), Margaritas tying the RedBombers (color added to spice up their team), and the aforementioned trouncing of Thunder Bay by The Underdogs. In other action, DaZ (last year's bottom team) has moved their team into a position of power as they took out last year's #4 team Ice Kinkajous 10-3. DaZ's offense and goaltending were both in sync on their way to the biggest win of the day.

Next week promises to be even more exciting as former heavyweights AmIGone and Nocturne's Killers face off to see who will gain the early upper hand and who will be sent to the scrap heap. Mighty Taco & DaZ will face off after each of their upset wins in a matchup that is sure to feature plenty of offense! Stingrays will take on the Wicked Pissahs while Margaritas take on The Underdogs as the expansion teams continue to make noise in the league. Who will emerge as the power to beat? Old and New powers Thunder Bay and Chiefs will face off, with the biggest question being if Teemu Selanne will decide to play or retire - the Chief's entire strategy will change on his announcement. Finally, the RedBombers look to defeat the Ice Kinkajous by use of their spiffy new RedPower(TM). Look for the Kinkajous to avoid a loss by exploiting their colorblindness.

Best and Worst Performances of Week 1:
Offense:
G: 14 (Wicked Pissahs); 2(Thunder Bay)
A: 22 (DaZ); 7 (Ice Kinkajous)
+/-: 17 (Stingrays I); -12 (Nocturne's Killers)
PIM: 57 (Wicked Pissahs); 8 (AmIGone)
PPP: 17 (Wicked Pissahs); 5 (AmIGone)
SHP: 2 (DaZ); 0 (Wicked Pissahs, Stingrays I, Chiefs, Thunder Bay, Margaritas, Ice Kinkajous)
SOG: 101 (Wicked Pissahs); 59 (Margaritas)
FW: 107 (Wicked Pissahs); 36 (Margaritas)

Goaltending:
W: 4 (Nocturne's Killers, Stingrays I); 0 (AmIGone, Wicked Pissahs)
GAA: 0.75 (Nocturne's Killers); 4.54 (AmIGone)
SV: 140 (Margaritas); 50 (Wicked Pissahs)
SV%: .973 (Nocturne's Killers); .832 (AmIGone)
SHO: 2 (Nocturne's Killers); 0 (all other except DaZ)

Week 5 Matchups

Here's the commentary on the matchups this week. If you have press comments as an owner that you'd like added for weeks in the future, please submit a press release in the form of a comment.

Jackson Orangemen / Black Dragons

The Orangemen have stunned the rest of the league as a rookie owner claims the top spot after four weeks running. They sport a solid all around team and though QB Peyton Manning hasn't had the year people thought he might, the Orangmen bench makes up for it. They have almost all of their players available and the bye weeks have yet to hurt them.

The Dragons come into the matchup 2-1-1 after tying last week. The coaching staff made a tough coaching call to leave WR Calvin Johnson in the lineup being a game time decision that was a bust. The Dragons want nothing more than to play spoiler this week and have the means to do it. However, they're without the service of WR Chad `Ocho-Cinco` Johnson as he's on bye.

The matchup as it stands calls for the Orangemen to run away with this one 105 to 74, but I think this one will be a much closer call. The Dragons are relying heavily on the Lions who play against an unproven Redskins team and could rally lots of points. On the other side of the coin, the Oragemen have many of their faithful going against some of the best defenses in the league including the Pats, Bucs, and Chicago.

Margaritas / Footballers

The Margaritas have had a solid 3-1 start with one week of just run away scoring that shocked the entire league to the core. However, that type of performance doesn't seem likely this week as they have 3 high class players on bye. The Margaritas are not on the rocks however because they have some very solid backups with some great matchups this week.

The Footballers have had real issues getting on the scoreboard so far this year but found a breath of fresh air last week when they went on to tie the Black Dragons in a great matchup. This week the Footballers look stronger than ever and ready to get back on track. Giants RB Brandon Jacobs is finally returning after a sprained knee injury and should definitely add production to the offense. Hopefully he will be 100%.

The matchup leaves this one in favor of the Footballers 88 - 81, but honestly I think it'll be a coin toss. Historically LT has just mauled the Denver defense and he's been looking for a game to break out in. With the Margaritas having Chargers QB Rivers and the Denver D, that game could be the one that decides this matchup.


Stingrays / Irish Mexicans

The Stingrays have started middle of the road at 2-2. They've been hounded by injuries and the coaching staff has got to be struggling with what they're up against here. They've also got 2 players on bye this week which continues to eat away at their playable lineup. They're still fielding a serviceable squad, but it's really all a matter of which players will be healthy come game time.

The rookie owner of the Irish Mexicans wasn't sure what to expect from fantasy football and is still trying to find combinations that work after starting 1-3. They're not doing bad from injuries and have a solid set of players but have some QB controversy. Both Hasselbeck and Favre have excellent seasons going and with a fight to play the lineup right, they also have some decisions to make come game time. The Irish Mexicans also only have one kicker on their squad and he's on bye this week so that should give the Stingrays a breather.

The matchup calls this one going to the Stingrays 85 - 75. It's going to be a matter of if the Stingrays guys can go 100%. There's also some favorable matchups for the Mexicans if they decide to do a last minute line up change. I'll go out on a limb and call this one to the Stingrays in a close one.


Starlings / Ex Bando

The Starlings have had a rough start going 1-3 and many of their draft picks have yet to pan out. They're not affected much by the bye week and that's definitely to their avanatage this week. With QB Vince Young going against a sloppy Falcons D, they could put up points in bunches.

The ExBandos have had a near perfect season. They drafted well and their only loss was to the top ranked Orangemen, but they barely came to play that week. That's put some doubt among the ranks of the ExBandos. They're also without perma-starter QB Carson Palmer this week out on the bye and WR Marvin Harrison has not been dealing well with an injury.

The matchup calls this one going to the ExBandos 95 - 93, but being a Bowman Brother Rivalry matchup, this one is anyone's call. Do I smell an upset ? Only time will tell.

Da Beers / Chowdaheads

Da Beers have started a respectable 2-2 but are still licking their wounds from last week's beating at the hands of the Supernova. What strikes worse is that they're also without QB Donovan `Mr. Consistency` McNabb. That brings up backup QB Jay Cutler. They've also got a few injuries among the ranks and it'll be tough to see who can play 100%.

The Chowdaheads have had the worst start in the league but it's very misleading. They've put up more points for than half of the league and still just have not had the luck on their side to get a break. With the season on the line the coaching staff have been scrambling to get their best players in the game.

The matchup leaves this one going to the Chowdaheads 97 - 87. For this one I have to agree, the Chowdaheads are long overdue for their first win and I think that they will not be denied against a banged up Beers squad.

Yankees Suck / Supernova

The Yankees Suck have started a solid 2-2 to start the season and have limited injuries to hurt their ranks. Some of their players have not panned out like originally intended, but that has not stopped the ownership from continuing to make some great additions to the team. They have a little bit of a QB controversy as to which one will come to play. They also only field one defense on their squad ( Minnesota ) and they're on bye this week.

Supernova have started a fantastic 3-1 with their only loss going to the ExBandos. They've been relying heavily They have starter RB Rudi Johnson coming off of injury as well as being on bye this week. The Novas also have some injury issues which has been causing the coaching staff some fits as to what to do on gameday.

The matchup on this one goes to the Supernova 97 - 80. The Novas have been reliant on the hot play of QB Tony Romo and there's no reason that it will stop this week. However there are a couple of injured players on either side that could prove to be an intangible.

Drafting Irregularities

So here's where we stand. DaZ did not correctly set his draft and caused a minor irritation during the begining of the live draft. Margaritas are mad because they were counting one extra left winger who was removed when the rosters were reset correctly. Also - many would like to see some action taken against DaZ when it was clearly stated that there would be consequences.

My official comments are as follows:
My initial rules (here)stated that the offending team would lose their franchise players to the free market and the affected teams would ultimately retain their franchise players while picking new players. The unforeseen consequence of this policy would be that the affected teams would effectively get an extra high draft pick, punishing teams that were not involved in the irregularities at all. In this case, Margaritas have been lobbying to retain Zetterburg in addition to their previous two franchise players (both properly restored). While I have no problems with this as a just (though perhaps harsh) punishment for DaZ and recompense for Margaritas, teams that were completely uninvolved will be at a disadvantage posed by this extra firepower. This is unfair as these other teams did not have an equal chance at Zetterburg (or Ovetchkin in the case of Thunder Bay).

So what can be done? The best is probably for DaZ to lose control of Zetterburg and Ovechkin without allowing any other team to access them. Since there is no way for me to do this in Yahoo that is foolproof, I will force those two players off of DaZ or any other team that tries to pick them up with no warning. They would be listed as banned and it would be best to leave them on the free agent market.

Does this sound like a just solution? How long of a ban should there be? Does DaZ lose these players all season or for a part? Please comment. We have until Oct. 3rd when these two play to decide. (Season starts Sept. 29th.)

Draft Rules

Our draft will be on Sun Sep 23 2:15pm EDT. Be sure to arrive a few minutes early to make sure your system works. Better yet, use the "test your system" link to make sure the kinks are out of the system RIGHT NOW so you can ask questions if it doesn't actually work (I'll be happy to help).

To actually make the draft work, there will be a few rules laid down. These will basically assure that you get your chosen franchise players. The rules are as follows:

1. Make sure the players listed here and here are in your "excluded players" section of the Pre-draft Player Rankings. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, ask.)
2. In those same Pre-draft Player Rankings, put your two franchise players in the top two positions. The rest of the rankings are up to you.
3. During the actual live draft, you MUST choose your franchise players for your first two selections (the first two rules assure this will happen for those managers who have to auto-draft).
4. Starting with round 3, each team may choose players according to whatever strategy they think best.
5. The penalty for not following the above rules will be severe:
   • Any player chosen in the first two rounds that was not a team's franchise player will lose that player to the waver-wire.
   • If the player chosen was another team's franchise player, that team will be given the franchise player with the option to drop any of their other players to keep the roster the correct size.
   • Failure to select your team's franchise player during the first two rounds of the draft will open that player to free-agency immediately.

You may notice that under the rules, if you fail to select your franchise players in the first two rounds, you will have effectively forfeited your first one or two draft picks and opened your franchise player(s) to any team's selection. In short - just follow the rules.

Standings after Week 1

Yes I know I suck at html ... deal ... and scroll

Overall Standings

Name	Record	PCT	PTS	Back	WK	Streak
ExBandoRefugeRedux	1-0-0	1.000	109	000	0.5	W-1
Supernova	1-0-0	1.000	109	000	0.5	W-1
Margaritas	1-0-0	1.000	104	005	0.0	W-1
YankeesSuck	1-0-0	1.000	099	010	0.0	W-1
JacksonOrangemen	1-0-0	1.000	099	010	0.0	W-1
Black Dragons	1-0-0	1.000	090	019	0.0	W-1
Chowdaheads Return!	0-1-0	0.000	096	013	0.0	L-1
Irish Mexicans	0-1-0	0.000	091	018	0.0	L-1
Can_I_Football_Too?	0-1-0	0.000	091	018	0.0	L-1
Madison Starlings	0-1-0	0.000	080	029	0.0	L-1
Da Beers	0-1-0	0.000	068	041	0.0	L-1
Stingrays !	0-1-0	0.000	064	045	0.0	L-1

East Side Standings

Name	Record	PCT	PTS	Back	WK	Streak
ExBando Refuge Redux	1-0-0	1.000	109	000	0.5	W-1
Margaritas	1-0-0	1.000	104	005	0.0	W-1
Yankees Suck	1-0-0	1.000	099	010	0.0	W-1
Chowdaheads Return!	0-1-0	0.000	096	013	0.0	L-1
Can_I_Football_Too?	0-1-0	0.000	091	018	0.0	L-1
Stingrays !	0-1-0	0.000	064	045	0.0	L-1

West Side Standings

Name	Record	PCT	PTS	Back	WK	Streak
Supernova	1-0-0	1.000	109	000	0.5	W-1
Jackson Orangemen	1-0-0	1.000	099	010	0.0	W-1
Black Dragons	1-0-0	1.000	090	019	0.0	W-1
Irish Mexicans	0-1-0	0.000	091	018	0.0	L-1
Madison Starlings	0-1-0	0.000	080	029	0.0	L-1
Da Beers	0-1-0	0.000	068	041	0.0	L-1

I'll start doing Power rankings after a few more games get played. Breakdown reports are available upon request.

Draft Options

[The following is a copy of an email sent to the league]
There are two options for the draft:

The first (and obvious) option is to do the live draft as it is currently scheduled (unless a majority have a problem with the time). In this plan, you will need to pick your franchise players in the first two rounds. Failure to pick them then will result in loss of the draft spot (I will drop the player you choose instead) and will open your franchise player to selection in the general draft. Quickly put, you need to have all other franchise players on the exclude list and you MUST pick your players with your first and second pick. With this option, there is no chance to trade draft slots, players, etc while the draft is in motion.

The second option is to do the draft through the fantasy blog. The success of the expansion draft leads me to believe that this would be doable. I would put a post on the blog citing the draft rules and the selection would happen in the comments (I may split it into a couple of posts for clarity's sake). One major rule would be to make sure that you type both the first and last name of the player to avoid any confusion. Other than that, trading would be allowed in almost any form that teams would find acceptable. I would make sure to keep up with the selections in Yahoo so that you don't have to keep scrolling down through the comments to find who has been chosen. This would take a little longer (we have ~2 weeks) but would allow anyone to participate in the draft without having to sit down at the computer at a specific time. Also - if you want an "autopick" option during this draft, you can always email me your potential picks and any additional instructions like "draft a winger in the 5th round".

Which option do you prefer?

Expansion Draft

The Expansion Draft begins now. Leave your pick in the comment section here.

Again, the order is as follows:

Round 1:
1 (1). The Underdogs
2 (2). Stingrays I
3 (3). Creative Team Name

Round 2:
1 (4). Creative Team Name
2 (5). Stingrays I
3 (6). The Underdogs

Keep checking back to see if you are up for a pick. Be sure to make sure your picks do not overlap with those here.

Draft Order

The Draft order for the Main Draft has been posted. These draft picks (viewable here) can be traded just like franchise players.

The order for the expansion draft (2 rounds, 6 picks) is as follows:

Round 1:
1 (1). The Underdogs
2 (2). Stingrays I
3 (3). Creative Team Name

Round 2:
1 (4). Creative Team Name
2 (5). Stingrays I
3 (6). The Underdogs

Franchise Player Choices

One Note: For each returning team, please make your name recognizable from last year. Thank you.

Post your franchise selections here in the comments. Team rosters can be found here.

I have already received Franchise choices from three people:

Thunder Bay:
Sidney Crosby (Pit)
Chris Pronger (Anh)

Mighty Taco:
Marian Hossa (Atl)
Roberto Luongo (Van)

AmIGone:
Nick Lidstrom (Det)
Ryan Miller (Buf)

Fantasy Hockey Begins!

Hey Hockey Fans!

The time has come to begin the new Fantasy Hockey Season! Time to take up your team from last year and defend your honor (or if you didn't do so well - regain your honor). For all the newcomers, this is a chance to prove that you should have been here all along. If you think you know hockey... this is the way to prove it! Join our fantasy league!

Since we decided to make this a keeper league, every team that existed last year gets to keep two players from their roster w/o drafting (deadline to choose those players: 9/5/07). Of course, if you are new - don't despair! There will be an expansion draft allowing each new team to get two franchise players prior to the main draft.

For details, check out the fantasy hockey section of our blog: Hockey Section of our Blog
And specifically:
Drafting Rules

Proposed Timeline:
9/5 = Deadline to reserve franchise players.
9/6 - 9/10 = Expansion Draft
9/10 - 9/23 = Main Draft

Fantasy Football Madness

It's that time of year again. People prepping for that lazy football weekend by stocking nachos, pretzels, cheese balls, chips and cold beverages. People buying that new uniform, breaking out the giant foam finger, checking their TV feeds, scoping out the newest sports bars, and readying their voices to scream at the refs. The draft has come and gone. Training camps have started and everyone has opinions as to which teams will do what this year. Of course everyone wants Vick as their #1 draft choice ... wait scratch that. Regardless, Fantasy Football is here ! Invites to the league went out this morning and about 18 people were invited for a 12 slot league. This provides a chance for everyone to play once and a top 8 playoff. If there's enough interest we will divide things up to 2 leagues for each division. If there are more people that wish to join please contact me via e-mail and I'll send out more invites.

Week 12 Results

Here are the stats you all love to agonize over (from week 12):
R: 40 (We Want A Touchdown!); 18 (WickedGreen Monstahs)
HR: 11 (Tiger Bandwagon); 3 (Philly Cheesesteaks, Loons)
RBI: 38 (We Want A Touchdown!, Tiger Bandwagon); 22 (Dirty Diamond D's)
SB: 9 (Pawtucket Red Sox); 1 (Stingrays I)
E: 0 (We Want a Touchdown!); 5 (Stingrays I)
AVG: .371 (Tiger Bandwagon); .243 (Loons)

W: 6 (Pawtucket Red Sox); 0 (We Want A Touchdown!)
S: 5 (WickedGreen Monstahs, Stingrays I); 0 (Pawtucket Red Sox, Gnorth Gnome Gninjas, Knights of Darkness, Margaritas, Loons)
HR: 2 (Mike Made Me Do This, Pawtucket Red Sox, Dirty Diamond D's); 7 (Pink Roos, Stingrays I, Knights of Darkness, Margaritas)
K: 50 (Hoot's Howitzers); 11 (Tiger Bandwagon)
ERA: 1.75 (Pawtucket Red Sox), 6.47 (Mike Made Me Do This)
WHIP: 1.02 (Hoot's Howitzers), 1.67 (Knights of Darkness)

Overall, the stats weren't that impressive this week except for Tiger Bandwagon's impressive batting average. The new season highs are as follows:
Batting
R: 46 (Stingrays I)
HR: 14 (Knights of Darkness)
RBI: 47 (Wicked Green Monstahs, Stingrays I, Margaritas)
SB: 10 (We Want a Touchdown!X3, Mike Made Me Do This, Gnome Gnorth Gninjas)
AVE: .371 (Tiger Bandwagon)

Pitching
W: 7 (Wicked Green MonstahsX2, Stingrays I)
S: 8 (Stingrays I)
K: 65 (Stingrays I)
ERA: 0.90 (Philly Cheesesteaks)
WHIP: 0.77 (Philly Cheesesteaks)

The new divisional rankings are as follows:
Standings after week 11:
(win-loss-tie, games back, prev. week rank)
Hoaggie-Grinder Division
1. Mike Made Me Do This (7-3-2,--,1)
2. WickedGreen Monstahs (6-4-2,1.0,2)
3. Tiger Bandwagon (7-5,1.0,3)
4. Philly Cheesesteaks (5-5-2,2.0,4)
5. Pink Roos (5-6-1,2.5,5)
6. Pawtucket Red Sox (4-7-1,3.5,6)

Deep Dish Division
1. Gnorth Gnome Gninjas (8-3-1,--,1)
2. Stingrays (8-4,0.5,2)
3. We Want a Touchdown (7-3-2,0.5,3)
4. Margaritas (7-4-1,1.0,4)
5. Hoot's Howitzers (4-7-1,3.5,6)
6. Knights of Darkness (3-7-2,4.5,5)
7. Loons (3-9,5.5,7)
8. Dirty Diamond D's (2-9-1,6.0,8)
[Ties broken by Yahoo! Ranks.]

Fantasy Hockey Offseason

Unfortunately, the Ducks have won the Stanley Cup after 3 big chokes dropped the Red Wings and Sabres in the conference finals and the Senators in the Stanley Cup finals. Fortunately, it is time to think about who you want to keep on your team. Remember, you only can choose two (but they can be traded). Please post your choices here in the comments.

Also - now is the time to collect people interested in joining the league. Please contact anyone you know and who might like to play and we can start building the new season.

Week 10 & 11 Results

Coming to you courtesy of Stephen Bowman:

Week 11:
R: 36 (Gnorth Gnome Gninjas); 21 (Pawtucket Red Sox)
HR: 13 (Stingrays 1); 3 (Mike Made Me Do This, Pink Roos)
RBI: 46 (Stingrays 1); 19 (Mike Made Me Do This)
SB: 9 (Mike Made Do This); 1 (Knights of Darkness, Tiger Bandwagon); 6 (Jose Reyes)
E: 1 (Knights of Darkness), 7 (Dirty Diamond D’s)
AVG: .335 (Philly Cheesesteaks); .224 (Mike Made Do This)

W: 5 (Loons, Hoot’s Howitzers), 0 (Dirty Diamond D’s)
S: 7 (Stingrays 1), 0 (We Want a Touchdown!, Pawtucket Red Sox, Knights of Darkness, Loons, Hoot’s Howitzers, Pink Roos)
HR: 1 (Philly Cheesesteaks); 10 (Hoot’s Howitzers)
K: 51 (WickedGreen Monstahs); 15 (Dirty Diamond D’s)
ERA: 0.90 (Philly Cheesesteaks); 7.62 (Tiger Bandwagon)
WHIP: 0.77 (Philly Cheesesteaks); 1.73 (We Want a Touchdown!)

Week 10:
R: 43 (Margaritas); 23 (Pawtucket Red Sox)
HR: 12 (Stingrays 1, Knights of Darkness); 3 (Pawtucket Red Sox, Gnorth Gnome Gninjas, Pink Roos)
RBI: 48 (Margaritas); 17 (Pawtucket Red Sox)
SB: 8 (Tiger Bandwagon, Margaritas); 1 (We Want a Touchdown!)
E: 1 (Loons, Pink Roos); 6 (Mike Made Me Do This)
AVG: .330 (Pink Roos); .237 (We Want a Touchdown!)

W: 4 (WickedGreen Monstahs); 0 (Dirty Diamond D’s)
S: 6 (Dirty Diamond D’s, Tiger Bandwagon); 0 (Hoot’s Howitzers, Pawtucket Red Sox, Knights of Darkness)
HR: 1 (Hoot’s Howitzers); 9 (Stingrays 1, Mike Made Me Do This)
K: 72 (Stingrays 1); 21 (Pink Roos)
ERA: 2.05 (Tiger Bandwagon); 6.04 (Loons)
WHIP: 0.96 (Pawtucket Red Sox); 1.70 (Loons)

Standings after week 11:
(win-loss-tie, games back, prev. week rank)
Hoaggie-Grinder Division
1. Mike Made Me Do This (6-3-2,--,1)
2. WickedGreen Monstahs (6-4-1,0.5,3)
3. Tiger Bandwagon (6-5,1.0,2)
4. Philly Cheesesteaks (5-5-1,1.5,4)
5. Pink Roos (4-6-1,2.5,6)
6. Pawtucket Red Sox (3-7-1,3.5,5)

Deep Dish Division
1. Gnorth Gnome Gninjas (8-2-1,--,2)
2. Stingrays (8-3,0.5,3)
3. We Want a Touchdown (7-3-1,1.0,1)
4. Margaritas (6-4-1,2.0,4)
5. Knights of Darkness (3-6-2,4.5,6)
6. Hoot's Howitzers (4-7,4.5,5)
7. Loons (3-8,5.5,8)
8. Dirty Diamond D's (2-8-1,6.0,7)

And for the season highs:
Batting
R: 46 (Stingrays I)
HR: 14 (Knights of Darkness)
RBI: 47 (Wicked Green Monstahs, Stingrays I, Margaritas)
SB: 10 (We Want a Touchdown!X3, Mike Made Me Do This, Gnome Gnorth Gninjas)
AVE: .351 (Stingrays I)

Pitching
W: 7 (Wicked Green MonstahsX2, Stingrays I)
S: 8 (Stingrays I)
K: 65 (Stingrays I)
ERA: 0.90 (Philly Cheesesteaks)
WHIP: 0.77 (Philly Cheesesteaks)
[Errors and HR allowed were not included as many people have had 0 in these categories.]

The only change from two weeks ago were in ERA and WHIP after the wonderful performance in Week 11 by the Philly Cheesesteaks.

Stats and Standings after Week 9

Here are this week's Divisional Standings

Hoaggie-Grinder Division (Record, Games Back)
1. Mike Made Me Do This (6-2-1, --)
2. Tiger Bandwagon (6-3, 0.5)
3. WickedGreen Monstahs (5-4, 1.5)
4. Philly Cheesesteaks (4-4-1, 2.0)
5. Pawtucket Red Sox (3-5-1, 3.0)
6. Pink Roos (3-5-1, 3.0)

Deep Dish Division
1. We Want a Touchdown (7-2, --)
2. Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (6-2-1, 0.5)
3. Stingrays (6-3, 1.0)
4. Margaritas (4-4-1, 2.5)
5. Hoot's Howitzers (3-6, 4.0)
6. Knights of Darkness (2-5-2, 4.0)
7. Dirty Diamond D's (2-7, 5.0)
8. Loons (2-7, 5.0)
[Ties broken by Yahoo! Rankings]

The stats from Week 9 are as follows:

Batting
R: 38 (Pawtucket Red Sox, Loons); 22 (Pink Roos)
HR: 13 (Pawtucket Red Sox, Gnome Gnorth Gninjas); 4 (Pink Roos, Hoot's
Howitzers, Philly Cheesesteaks)
RBI: 42 (Gnome Gnorth Gninjas); 22 (Hoot's Howitzers)
SB: 7 (Mike Made Me Do This); 0 (Hoot's Howitzers)
E: 1 (Knights of Darkness); 6 (Gnome Gnorth Gninjas)
AVG: .345 (Loons); .220 (Knights of Darkness)

Pitching
W: 5 (Stingrays I, Tiger Bandwagon, Mike Made Me Do This); 1 (Loons,
Hoot's Howitzers, Dirty Diamond D's)
S: 5 (Philly Cheesesteaks, Mike Made Me Do This); 0 (Pawtucket Red
Sox, Loons, Knights of Darkness, Hoot's Howitzers)
HR: 2 (Hoot's Howitzers); 15 (Margaritas)
K: 51 (Mike Made Me Do This); 27 (Loons)
ERA: 2.25 (Tiger Bandwagon); 6.91 (Dirty Diamond D's)
WHIP: 0.98 (Stingrays I); 1.78 (Dirty Diamond D's)


***New Addition***
Taken from all 9 weeks thus far, here are the outstanding performances in each category:

Batting
R: 46 (Stingrays I)
HR: 14 (Knights of Darkness)
RBI: 47 (Wicked Green Monstahs, Stingrays I, Margaritas)
SB: 10 (We Want a Touchdown!X3, Mike Made Me Do This, Gnome Gnorth Gninjas)
AVE: .351 (Stingrays I)

Pitching
W: 7 (Wicked Green MonstahsX2, Stingrays I)
S: 8 (Stingrays I)
K: 65 (Stingrays I)
ERA: 1.74 (We Want a Touchdown!, Wicked Green Monstahs)
WHIP: 0.92 (Tiger Bandwagon)
[Errors and HR allowed were not included as many people have had 0 in these categories.]

Week 9 Temp Post

Following the conclusion of Week 8, here are the standings and standout performances:

DIVISION STANDINGS

Hoaggie-Grinder Division (Record, Games Back)
1. Mike Made Me Do This (5-2-1, --)
2. Tiger Bandwagon (5-3, 0.5)
2. WickedGreen Monstahs (5-3, 0.5)
4. Philly Cheesesteaks (4-3-1, 1.0)
5. Pink Roos (3-5, 2.5)
6. Pawtucket Red Sox (2-5-1, 3.0)

Deep Dish Division
1. We Want a Touchdown (6-2, --)
2. Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (5-2-1, 0.5)
3. Stingrays (5-3, 1.0)
4. Margaritas (4-3-1, 1.5)
5. Hoot's Howitzers (3-5, 3.0)
6. Knights of Darkness (2-5-1, 3.5)
7. Loons (2-6, 4.0)
8. Dirty Diamond D's (2-6, 4.0)
(Someone please check me on my math)

Records
R: 36 (Gnome Gnorth Gninjas); 23 (Loons)
HR: 10 (Stingrays I); 1 (We Want a Touchdown!)
RBI: 47 (Stingrays I); 15 (We Want a Touchdown!)
SB: 8 (Margaritas); 1 (Stingrays I, Loons, Knights of Darkness)
E: 1 (Pawtucket Red Sox, Loons, Pink Roos, Dirty Diamond D's); 5 (Stingrays I)
AVG: .316 (Gnome Gnorth Gninjas); .198 (We Want a Touchdown!)

W: 6 (Stingrays I, Hoot's Howitzers); 1 (Wicked Green Monstahs, Loons,
Tiger Bandwagon, Gnome Gnorth Gninjas)
S: 7 (Tiger Bandwagon), 0 (Pawtucket Red Sox, Knights of Darkness,
Hoot's Howitzers)
HR: 1 (Knights of Darkness), 9 (Stingrays I, Mike Made Me Do This)
K: 57 (Stingrays I), 15 (Gnome Gnorth Gninjas)
ERA: 1.74 (We Want a Touchdown!), 7.11 (Wicked Green Monstahs)
WHIP: 1.09 (We Want a Touchdown!), 1.92 (Wicked Green Monstahs)

Week 8 Temp Post

Here are the best and worst stats for Week 7:

R: 41 (Mike Made Me Do This); 23 (Loons)
HR: 14 (Knights of Darkness); 3 (Loons, Gnome Gnorth Gninjas)
RBI: 47 (Wicked Green Monstahs); 18 (Gnome Gnorth Gninjas)
SB: 10 (We Want a Touchdown!); 0 (Knights of Darkness, Hoot's
Howitzers); 8 (Ichiro Suzuki)
E:1 (Loons, Wicked Green Monstahs, Margaritas); 6 (Tiger Bandwagon)
AVG: .336 (Mike Made Me Do This); .195 (Stingrays I)

W: 4 (Margaritas, Pawtucket Red Sox, Stingrays I); 0 (Dirty Diamond D's)
S: 5 (Wicked Green Monstahs); 0 (Pawtucket Red Sox, Hoot's Howitzers)
HR: 3 (Philly Cheesesteaks, Pink Roos, Gnome Gnorth Gninjas, Mike Made
Me Do This); 11 (We Want a Touchdown!)
K: 61 (Stingrays I); 17 (Pink Roos)
ERA: 1.93 (Tiger Bandwagon); 6.95 (We Want a Touchdown!)
WHIP: 0.92 (Tiger Bandwagon); 1.75 (Wicked Pissahs)

Fantasy Football this Fall

Whew there's a toungue twister of a title. Anyways, as you may or may not know, we're coming up quickly on Fantasy Football season. Hopefully everyone watched the draft and took careful notes. I'm starting to put together the league and was hoping to get some comments. After talking to some people about crazy setups like pure defensive lineups or playing a full defense with a full offense, I've decided to keep things pretty simple. I'm trying to keep it pretty basic to get more people in on the ground floor who don't necessarily have a ton of football knowledge. So there's no shame in not knowing about current gridiron greats or anything like that. Just show up hungry on draft day and hope for the best.

Tentative league setup looks something like this so far :

Playable positions per week

QB - 1
RB - 2
WR - 2
RB/WR- 1
TE - 1
K - 1
DEF - 1
Bench - 5 or 6
IR - 2

Feel free to post comments or e-mail me directly. I'm the manager of the basement kissing Knights of Darkness in our fantasy baseball league.

Week 7 Temp Post

Hi all,

No doubt if you even bother to read these messages, you have probably noticed that last week's posting never came. It's been siting, partially completed, on my computer this entire time. I won't go into a lengthy explanation of why last week's was never finished and why the case may be the same this week. Let's just say work has been real tough the last few weeks and its been sandwiched by weekends chock full of commitments. You'd be shocked how much time it actually takes to put one of these together! So please accept this as an official apology on my behalf. I have posted the following stats, courtesy of the Nerdery and the Division Standings as of Monday morning.

Let's hope things ease up a bit soon so I can resume my usually colorful, yet dorky commentary. Regardless, I have a desperately needed vacation coming soon...

GAME 6 NOTABLE STATS
New Feature: Highest and Lowest
R: 35 (Philly Cheesesteaks); 17 (Loons)
HR: 11 (Stingrays I); 4 (Loons)
RBI: 41 (Philly Cheesesteaks); 17 (Loons, Dirty Diamond D's)
SB: 9 (Mike made me do this); 0 (Dirty Diamond D's)
E: 0 (Loons, Wicked Green Monstahs); 9 (Stingrays I)
AVG: .319 (Stingrays I); .198 (Loons)

W: 5 (Philly Cheesesteaks, Pawtucket Red Sox) ; 1 (Tiger Bandwagon,
Dirty Diamond D's)
S: 6 (Philly Cheesesteaks); 0 (Wicked Green Monstahs)
HR: 2 (Gnome Gnorth Gninjas, Dirty Diamond D's, Wicked Green
Monstahs); 9 (Margaritas, We want a Touchdown!)
K: 48 (We Want a Touchdown!); 24 (Wicked Green Monstahs)
ERA: 2.01 (Mike Made me Do This); 6.64 (Margaritas)
WHIP: 0.93 (Gnome Gnorth Gninjas); 1.53 (Wicked Green Monstahs)

DIVISION STANDINGS

Hoaggie-Grinder Division (Record, Games Back)
1. Tiger Bandwagon (4-2, --)
2. WickedGreen Monstahs (4-2, --)
3. Mike Made Me Do This (3-2-1, 0.5)
4. Philly Cheesesteaks (3-3, 1.0)
5. Pink Roos (2-4, 2.0)
6. Pawtucket Red Sox (1-4-1, 2.5)

Deep Dish Division
1. We Want a Touchdown (6-0, --)
2. Margaritas (4-2, 2.0)
3. Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (3-2-1, 2.5)
4. Hoot's Howitzers (3-3, 3.0)
5. Stingrays (3-3, 3.0)
6. Loons (2-4, 4.0)
7. Knights of Darkness (1-4-1, 4.5)
8. Dirty Diamond D's (1-5, 5.0)

The race is still very tight with in the East, with the Monstahs knocking on the Tigers' door. We Want a Touchdown has blown the West WIDE OPEN, with a perfect 6-0 record thus far.

Calling all (potential) Hockey Players

Whoever wants to get in on Fantasy Hockey for next year, make yourself known now. The sooner you get in, the better! Expansion Teams are now welcomed!

Game 5 (April 30 - May 6, 2007)

(Author's note: A special thanks goes out to the Nerdery Sports Bureau, led by statistician gurus Chuck Bowman and Jason Backus. These guys have WAY too much time on their hands, but they've helped me expedite this email. So if you have a stat question, consult the Nerdery!)

Welcome back Dirt-Dogs to the 1/6th of the way through the season Fantasy Review Spectacular! Or, as the say on ESPN Deportes, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOO - Revision Beisbol Fantasia Espectacularrrrr! Was that a little bit racist? Probably, but remember, you probably laughed just a little bit at that. Come on... admit it!

Let's talk about some events that took place in MLB this week. For starters, our caps off this week to Cards fans everywhere for the tragic loss of pitcher Josh Hancock. You never like to hear things like this happen, especially to someone so young.

Okay, back to the fun MLB news. Certain abnormalities are taking place in MLB right now that are very interesting. For starters, the Yankees have dropped 5 of their last 6 to the Boston Red Sox. This has left even me scratching my head about what's going on in the AL East, Sox fan that I am. The ramifications of these past two weekend may affect your team. There's been talk on New York's WFAN that long-time manager Joe Torre may be fired, and that several Yankees may be sent down to the minors as early as today. There are some possible long-term ramifications for your team here. So if you have Yankees, particularly younger Yankees or recently injured Yankees, keep an eye on them! Also, another interesting MLB tidbit from last week came from Rockies rookie shortstop Troy Tulowitzky, who turned an UNASSISTED triple play on Sunday. That's only happened 13 times in the history of baseball!! If you haven't seen the Sports Center highlights yet, drop your laptop right now... leave work, stop talking to your loved one, and get to a TV... RIGHT NOW!

GAME 4 RECAP

Three big come-from-behind wins last week! In Michigan, We Want a Touchdown overcame the Knights of Darkness in the FINAL HOURS of the week with a score of 7-5. Out in Ye Olde New England, the WickedGreen Monstahs rallied over the Pink Roos, defeating them 6-4. In Chicagoland, Carroll the Younger and his Hoot's Howitzers pulled off their first victory of the season with a walk-off performance over the Midland Loons, 6-5. New York hegemon Tiger Bandwagon held on for a 7-4 victory over the Philly Cheesesteaks. The Pawtucket Red Sox of Providence and Boston-based Mike Made Me Do This decided to call it a draw with a score of 6-6. And, this week's blowouts can be spelled with one word: Backus. The Rockford Margaritas pummeled the Triple Diamond D's 8-4 and the Rockford Stingrays blew out the Gnorthside-Chicago Gnome Gnorth Gninjas 8-3.

NOTABLE STATS

Runs: Stingrays I (46)
HR: Stingrays I (12)
RBI: Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (44)
SB: Mike Made Me Do This, We Want A Touchdown! (10)
E: Pink Roos, Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (1)
AVG: Stingrays I (.351)

W: Stingrays I, Margaritas, Pawtucket Red Sox, Philly Cheesesteaks (4)
S: Stingrays I (8)
HR: Knights of Darkness (0)
K: Mike Made Me Do This (61)
ERA: Wicked Green Monsters (1.74)
WHIP: Pawtucket Red Sox ( 1.07)

GAME 5 PREVIEW

WickedGreen Monstahs (2-2) @ Knights of Darkness (1-2-1)
Both of these teams had critical games last week! The Monstahs climbed back from a near humiliating defeat at the hands of the Roos last week, and thanks to an outstanding pitching performance by the Monstah's relivers (ERA 1.75, 5 Saves) the Monstahs scraped together enough of an offense on Thursday, Friday and Saturday to come back from 2-9 deficit on Wednesday to pull off a 6-4 victory. The Knights, however, had the exact opposite fate, losing on the last day of their series, featuring a solid offensive punch that was not strong enough to hold out over the Footballers. This looks to be a classic pitching vs. batting matchup. The Monstahs take in a pitching squad that's had an ERA under 2.75 for the past three games, while the Knights produce offense where the Monstahs are the weakest: stolen bases and RBIs. I can't really say who will win this one, because that would be biased...

Philly Cheesesteaks (1-3) @ Pink Roos (1-3)
Here are two teams that desperately want the bloodbath in the East to be over, each suffering tough losses last week. The Cheeseteaks were bludgeoned by the Tigers, despite the poor performance by the Tigers pitching squad. The Roos are still rubbing their eyes in disbelief over how the Monstahs managed to catch-up, and worse yet, overtake them in the final three days of the week. But, that's baseball. Sometimes, you think you're taking a routine ground ball up the first base line and it goes through your glove, forcing you to hang your head in shame and flee to Iowa where you can't be chased down by guys named Sully from Southie... as you are blamed for 68 years of futility ... when it wasn't your fault anyway that the game got tied on a wild pitch anyway. (Hold on, tearing up...) Ahem, like they say, there's no crying in baseball. The Roos were an offensive explosion the first part of last week and have a solid, yet not perfect rotation. If the Roos can muster the same kind of offensive umph seen last Monday, they should dry their tears, and continue the woes of the team from Philly.

Pawtucket Red Sox (1-2-1) @ Tiger Bandwagon (3-1)
Okay, where do I start on this one... hmmm... let me think. How about the 10.80 ERA by Tiger/Yankee reliever Mariano Rivera? As you can imagine, smiling with glee over here. But I'm not quite sure who to throw my support behind here this week. Do I support the PawSox, who knocked my girlfriend out of the top three, or the Tigers, whose oppression on the East is keeping me near the basement. Sorry hon, when in doubt, gotta say GO SOX! Right now, the Tigers look unstoppable. Their offense and pitching staff remains healthy and productive. And despit ethe trouble, they've been having in their relief core (and the fact that the SOX GOT MARIANO'S NUMBAH), they should have enough weapons to beat the Sox in just about any stat. That is, unless Dice-K has a lights-out performance on Thursday. That could, in effect, change eveything for the PawSox.

Loons (2-2) @ We Want a Touchdown! (4-0)
Looks like we have another Bowman subdivison match up this week, which isn't too hard considering there are four Bowmnas in this league to begin with, but hey... it's always interesting. This week is particularly interesting in that this Bowman match up features two very solid, very respectable teams in the top tier that have gone above and beyond in proving me wrong at the start of this season. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The Loons have a very National League approach to the game, winning by amassing consistent talent and using different approaches to win. In Week 1, the Loons won using pitching. In Week 3 they won with some impressive offense and did so again in Week 4, losing only on the final day. The 'Footballers, proving that inexperience doesn't necessarily mean a lack of excellence, have been winning games by keeping them very close, edging out their opponents in categories, sometimes coming from behind to win like last week against the Knights. This is the mathcup of the week here folks. Both of these teams are for real and this game will tell which has a better strategy and more luck: Bowman the Elder, or Bowman the Youngest.

Margaritas (3-1) @ Hoot's Howitzers (1-3)
The Margarita's have been mopping up competition in the West, following thier only loss at the hands of the Anti-Mikes from the East in Week 1. The Margaritas drafted well and it shows, but in order to stay ahead of the Stingrays (whose GM is likely sitting on the couch accross from her as she's reading this) and keep the pressure on the surprising 'Footballers, the Margaritas are going to have to continue their streak against the Howitzers. Sadly, it shouldn't be too difficult. I warned my brother he cursed himself by drafting Johnny Damon. He brought this upon himself. I have no sympathy for him... well maybe just a little. The Hows have definitely struggled in the start of the season, but had their most promising performance of the season against the strong Midland Loons. Their pitching is heating up! With a ERA of 2.38, an impressive 54 strikeouts, and a WHIP of about 1.2, they are no longer dwelling in the basement.

Stingrays (2-2) @ Dirty Diamond D's (1-3)
The Stingrays have crawled back into the top tier of teams with a core that's now begining to cement offensively and defensively. The Triple D's however, had difficulty producing power numbers the last two games. The numbers on this game can be a real crapshoot. But look for high offensive numbers from the Rays, and better pitching stats from them too. But hey, I've been wrong before... well... often, actually.

Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (1-2-1) @ Mike Made Me Do This (3-0-1)
The Anti-Mikes have been great at producing one thing in this league more than any other team so far: ties. They are so good in fact that they managed to pull off a tie in the actual game last week. The Anti-Mike's picked up the unexpectedly brilliant Hideki Okajima, the newly appointed Boston set-up man, which helped add some umph to her strikeouts and bring down her overall ERA. This, among other factors, give the Anti-Mikes a potentially stronger pitching squad going into Monday. The Gninjas actually had an excellent offensive performance last week... they just had to go up against the absolutely SICK numbers posted by the Stingrays. If the Gninja's keep up those kind of numbers, it will spell trouble for the Anti-Mikes. I'm going to refrain from saying anything else... cause I don't want to be exiled to the couch.

DIVISION STATS

Hoaggie-Grinder Division (Record, Games Back)
1. Tiger Bandwagon (3-1) --
2. Mike Made Me Do This (2-1-1) 0.5
3. WickedGreen Monstahs (2-2) 1.0
4. Pawtucket Red Sox (1-2-1) 1.5
5. Philly Cheesesteaks (1-3) 2.0
6. Pink Roos (1-3) 2.0

Deep Dish Division
1) We Want a Touchdown (4-0) --
2) Margaritas (3-1) 1.0
3) Stingrays (2-2) 2.0
4) Loons (2-2) 2.0
5) Knights of Darkness (1-2-1) 2.5
6) Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (1-2-1) 2.5
7) Hoot's Howitzers (1-3) 3.0
8) Triple Diamond D's (1-3) 3.0

Game 4 (April 23 - 29, 2007)

Okay, I am a fair man. When I get things wrong, I stand corrected. So here goes... yes, We Want a Touchdown is the real deal. There! I've said it. The 'Footballers... are in first place...I was so wrong about this team and its capabilities that I contemplated taking a nose dive of the Zakim Bridge this morning. But then I reconsidered after the RED SOX SWEPT THE YANKEES this weekend! For those of you paying attention, the Red Sox on Sunday night became the fifth team in the history of Major League Baseball to hit four consecutive home runs, and it happened on 10 pitches. Am I a gloating Red Sox fan? Absolutely. The real question is, why aren't you gloating with me???

GAME 3 RECAP

Sadly, in the fantasy world, New York beat Boston, as the WickedGreen Monstahs offense fizzled out in the closing days of the contest, resulting in a 6-5 victory by the Tiger Bandwagon. The Pawtucket Red Sox of Providence pulled of their first victory of the young season, edging the Philly Cheesesteaks 7-5. A similar match played out in the west with the Knights besting the Howitzers 7-4. The 'Footballers dominated the pink Roos with a solid 8-4 victory, bested only by a routing of the Gninjas by the Margaritas with a score of 8-3. The Loons continued their solid pace by defeating the Triple D's 5-4. And finally, Stingrays can admit victory, with their come-from-behind, last minute win over Mike Made Me Do This, 5-4. Game 3 featured many close matchups, and was without question, the closest week of the season thus far. Just look at the notable stats and how many records were shared this week!

NOTABLE STATS

Most Runs: Pawtucket Red Sox, Margaritas (42)
Most HRs: Pawtucket Red Sox (12)
Most RBIs: Margaritas (47)
Most Stolen Bases: We Want a Touchdown, Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (10)
Fewest Es: Loons, Dirty Diamond D's, Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (0)
Highest Avg: Tiger Bandwagon (.331)
Most Wins: Pawtucket Red Sox, We Want a Touchdown (5)
Most Saves: Margaritas, WickedGreen Monstahs, We Want a Touchdown (6)
Most Ks: Stingrays (65!!!)
Lowest ERA: Philly Cheesesteaks (1.82)
Lowest WHIP: Margaritas (1.01)


GAME 4 PREVIEW

WickedGreen Monstahs (1-2) @ Pink Roos (1-2)
This week begins with another Boston-Providence match up, with the Monstahs traveling to see the Roos. The Roos pitching has suffered of late, with a high ERA and high Home Run count. But the Roos have enough of an offense to counter the lackluster AAA batting the Monstahs have been sporting this past week. If the Roos can sport a little better from the mound, look for them to rally against the Monstahs... unless the Monstahs suddenly get hot.

Philly Cheesesteaks (1-2) @ Tiger Bandwagon (2-1)
With the first loss of the Anti-Mikes last week, the Tigers are well on their way to becoming the Eastern hegemon. The Cheeseteaks had a very rough outting last week, in spite of their excellent pitching performance. This looks to be a pitching duel! And, watch out Mr. Belsky... Chien Ming Wang comes back from the DL to pitch for the Cheesesteaks this week!

Pawtucket Red Sox (1-2) @ Mike Made Me Do This (2-1)
The record-tying 4 consecutive home runs by the Boston Red Sox proved huge for the Pawtucket Red Sox of Providence as they achieved their first victory of the season in Game 3. The Anti-Mikes however, are coming off their first (and very tough) loss. The PawSox tied for a bunch of offensive records last week and their pitching looks to be in good shape. The Anti-Mikes have been an offensive stat producing machine all season. If their pitching can hold out long enough, they could keep the pressure on their competition from New York.

Knights of Darkness (1-1-1) @ We Want a Touchdown! (3-0)
The Footballers pulled off another resounding win last week, but did so with one of the weaker pitching performances of the week (6.59 ERA, 1.74 WHIP). This was not enough however to weigh them down, as they still pulled enough wins, saves, and offensive stats to win convincingly. This will likely continue next week, especially if their ERA can improve. The Knights, on the other hand have pulled off the trifecta with a win, loss, and a tie. And, coming off their first win, the Knights won just as convincingly, but managed to do so by winning the exact opposite stats than We Want a Touchdown. This one will likely be a close call, probably bouncing 6-5, 6-6 for most of the week.

Loons (2-1) @ Hoot's Howitzers (0-3)
The Loons continue to manufacture wins in true National League style fashion, amassing a list of players and making it into a stat producing machine. This week they take on the league's Washington Nationals, the Howitzers, who continue to narrowly lose most of the stat categories. This may be the Howitzers' week, however. They're hungry and not as easy as they seem.

Margaritas (2-1) @ Dirty Diamond D's (1-2)
The Triple D's close loss last week sent them lower in the division, but with a team ERA averaging under 4.00 since the second week, there's a good chance that they have the pitching necessary to remain competitive throughout the week. The Margaritas are truly on a roll, with a routing of the Knights last week and they are one of the most well-rounded teams in this league. The Margaritas will continue to nip on the heels of the Footballers, perhaps catching them this week in the West.

Stingrays I (1-2) @ Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (1-1-1)
Anyone else find it ironic that after dubbing the 'Rays the "Yankees" of the league that they, like the actual New York Yankees, feature a sub-500 record? Not that I actually wanted to curse the Rays such, but they have been struggling of late, that is until last week, when the 'Rays pulled off their first win. The 'Rays record 19 moves seem, at least for the moment, to have stopped the bleeding, just in time to take on a beat-up Gninjas franchise with three pitchers on the DL. The better offense is likely to win the day in this matchup.

DIVISION STANDINGS

Hoaggie-Grinder League (Team, Record, Games Back)
1. Mike Made Me Do This (2-1, --)
2. Tiger Bandwagon (2-1, --)
3. Pawtucket Red Sox (1-2, 1.0)
4. WickedGreen Monstahs (1-2, 1.0)
5. Philly Cheesesteaks (1-2, 1.0)
6. Pink Roos (1-2, 1.0)

Deep Dish League
1. We Want a Touchdown (3-0, --)
2. Margaritas (2-1, 1.0)
3. Loons (2-1, 1.0)
4. Knights of Darkness (1-1-1, 1.5)
5. Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (1-1-1, 1.5)
6. Dirty Diamond D's (1-2, 2.0)
7. Stingrays I (1-2, 2.0)
8. Hoot's Howitzers (0-3, 3.0)

Game 3 (April 16 - April 22, 2007)

(Author's Note: Sorry all for the three day delay in this email. Things have been busy around here and Monday was a holiday in Massachusetts. This thing has been sitting on my desktop about 80% completed for the last three days! I've also been looking for an alternative form of delivery, as the Yahoo emails seem to be getting picked up by people's spam blockers, and Yahoo's character limit. So here goes nothing. As they say, better late than never!)

Happy Patriot's Day everyone and greetings from the soggy northeast! No doubt the Hoaggie-Grinder Division has had an interesting two days as 6 MLB postponments sent fantasy-leaguers into a frenzied panic. For those of you living in the Northeast, keep your chins up. Friday's forecast calls for unseasonably warm temperatures... and sunshine!

GAME TWO RECAP

Another week for the underdogs? The Monstahs rebounded and upended the PawSox with a wild pitching battle 7-5. The Anti-Mikes BLEW OUT the Cheesesteaks 7-1, propelling the Anti-Mikes into first place. The 'Footballers edged out the Tiger Bandwagon for a second consecutive upset 6-5. The Howitzers rallied for a 6-4 win over the Roos. Proving that father may not know best, the Gninjas boasted a 6-4 lead. The Triple D's emasculated (ever so slightly) the Knights in another 6-4 matchup. And lastly, the Margarita's proved yet again that the female is truly the dealier sex, handing the pre-season favorite Stingrays another humiliatingly close defeat of 6-5 (sorry Jas.)

NOTABLE STATS

Most Runs: Pawtucket Red Sox (28)
Most RBIs: Knights of Darkness (29)
Most HRs: Knights of Darkness (9)
Most SB: Mike Made Me Do This (9)
Highest Avg: Tiger Bandwagon, WickedGreen Monstahs (.289)
Fewest Es: Pink Roos, WickedGreen Monstahs (1)
Most Ws: WickedGreen Monstahs, Stingrays (7)
Most Saves: Stingrays (7)
Most Ks: Stingrays (51)
Fewest Pitcher HRs: We Want a Touchdown (0)
Lowest ERA: Margaritas (1.83)
Lowest WHIP: Pawtucket Red Sox (1.01)

GAME 3 MATCHUPS

WickedGreen Monstahs (1-1) @ Tiger Bandwagon (1-1)
Boston. New York. The pinnacle of baseball. These two were once roommates, now they are mortal enemies locked in deadly fantasy combat. Does this match matter? No, because Mike's girlfriend is kicking both their asses in the division :)

Philly Cheesesteaks (1-1) @ Pawtucket Red Sox (0-2)
It's been a tough two weeks for both of these teams, one plagued by the DL and the other plagued by under performance. Watch the PawSox to launch forward in their matchup with a superior pitching staff that would have won almost any other game last week.

Pink Roos (1-1) @ We Want a Touchdown (2-0)
I stand corrected and dumbfounded, the 'Footballers have shocked the West by edging out both the #1 and #2 preseason favorites. But are they for real? They will face a test against a solid Roos team led by a catcher with a .476 average.

Knights of Darkness (0-1-1) @ Hoot's Howitzers (1-1)
The Knights have yet to pull off a victory, but have lost by only small margins. Will this be the week for the Knights? Not if my brother has anything to say about it...

Loons (1-1) @ Dirty Diamond D's (1-1)
The Loons suffered a tough loss last week in the waning innings, while the Triple D's pulled off their first victory last week. These are two very well rounded teams, with both earning points in offense and pitching last week. The stats edge slightly toward the Loons, if their rotation can keep up their solid performance. ((Post-email update: HOLY CRAP! Look at the Loon's offense through Tuesday!))

Margaritas (1-1) @ Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (1-0-1)
The Gninjas pulled off a surprise squeaker last week when the Loons pitching collapsed late in the week. The Margaritas have improved significantly from Game 1 and had stats that would have wiped out the majority of the teams last week. (Note added since original draft: She had Mark Buehrle on her squad who pitched a no hitter last night. Memo to the Gninjas... OUCH)

Stingrays (0-2) @ Mike Made Me Do This (2-0)
You have a very interesting interleague matchup here. The Anti-Mike's are in first place in the league, with two very solid offensive performances. The Stingrays, while 0-2, actually picked up several records last week. Can the Rays pitching beat the Anti-Mike's offense in Week 3? I have to put my money on Mike Made Me Do This... for several understandable reasons I won't go into here.


DIVISION STANDINGS
Ties broken by Yahoo Standings

Hoaggie-Grinder Division (City, Record, Games Back)
1. Mike Made Me Do This - Boston (2-0, -- GB)
2. Tiger Bandwagon - New York (1-1, 1.0 GB)
3. WickedGreen Monstahs - Boston (1-1, 1.0 GB)
4. Pink Roos - Providence (1-1, 1.0 GB)
5. Philly Cheesesteaks - Philadelphia (1-1, 1.0 GB)
6. Pawtucket Red Sox - Providence (0-2, 2.0 GB)

Deep Dish Division
1. We Want a Touchdown - East Lansing (2-0, -- GB)
2. Gnome Gnorth Gninjas - Chicago (1-0-1, 0.5 GB)
3. Dirty Diamond D's - Chicago (1-1, 1.0 GB)
4. Margaritas - Rockford (1-1, 1.0 GB)
5. Loons - Midland (1-1, 1.0 GB)
6. Stingrays I - Rockford (1-1, 1.0 GB)
7. Knights of Darkness - Detroit (0-1-1, 1.5 GB)
8. Hoot's Howitzers - Chicago (0-2, 2.0 GB)

Good luck,
Commish

Game 2 (April 9 - April 15, 2007)

It seems as though my projections at the beginning of the year have been proven completely wrong. Sure enough, The Bandwagon and the Anti-Mikes did as well as expected, but as often the case of baseball, there were a lot of upsets last week, not the least of which was the pummeling of both Carroll brothers, sending them to the bottom of the league. There's no doubt in my mind that Bowman family Patriarch, Bob Bowman is a very happy Papa right now, as neither he nor any one of his sons lost last week! Surely a spit in the eye of the Commish!

Here's the recap folks: The Cheeseteaks slathered the Monstahs 7-4 with a terrible pitching performance by the Monstahs. The 'Footballers upset the PawSox 6-4. The Tiger Bandwagon turned the Howitzers into roadkill by a score of 8-2. The Pink Roos edged the Triple D's 5-4 in walk-off fashion. The Gnome Gnorth Gninjas and the Knights of Darkness tied each other 6-6. Mike Made Me Do This is glad I made her do it with her score upending the Margaritas 6-5. And, with the UPSET OF THE WEEK - The Midland Loons edged out the preseason favorite Stingrays by a score of 6-5.

NOTABLE STATS:

Most Runs: Mike Made Me Do This (33), Stingrays I (33)
Most Ks: WickedGreen Monstahs (53)
Most HRs: Margaritas (9), Mike Made Me Do This (9)
Most RBIs: Loons (34)
Most Stoeln Bases: We Want a Touchdown (7)
Lowest ERA: Loons (1.81)
Lowest WHIP: Tiger Bandwagon (1.00)

GAME TWO MATCHUPS

WickedGreen Monstahs (0-1) @ Pawtucket Red Sox (0-1)
Last week was not an easy one for either the Monstahs or the PawSox,as they lost both of their games despite having respectable stats. The PawSox will bring with them excellent pitching, led by phenom Daisuke Matsuzaka. The Monstahs plan to bring a little more offense this time around, but will their rotation doom them as they did last week?

Philly Cheesesteaks (1-0) @ Mike Made Me Do This (1-0)
The Anti-Mike's had a very impressive offense last week, with 33 Runs, 9 HRs, 30 RBI, and a batting average over .300. And like the other matchup above, Bowman brings decent pitching to this duel, with a very impressive ERA of 2.17. In the race to nip on Tiger Bandwagon's heels, both of these teams are well in it. But, both teams are plagued by the DL disease.

Tiger Bandwagon (1-0) @ We Want a Touchdown (1-0)
One word: Bloodbath.

Pink Roos (1-0) @ Hoot's Howitzers (0-1)
The Pink Roos pulled off the win last week with only a plurality of points. And the Howitzer's took last week's worst pummeling. The Roos are well rounded. The Howitzers, however, had significantly better pitching stats than the Roos did last week. So, quite frankly, this one is up in the air. Good luck!

Knights of Darkness (0-0-1) @ Dirty Diamond D's (0-1)
I'll admit, I tried to think of something clever to write here. But quite frankly, like some of the others, I have no idea who will win here. Let's think about this logically. Who'd be more PO'd, the guy who tied or the gal who barely lost? I will leave it up the peanut gallery to decide this.

Loons (1-0) @ Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (0-0-1)
"Together we shall rule the galaxy as father and son..." Father knows best, nuff said and quite frankly he showed me up big time last week, so I'm just going to leave it at that.

Margaritas (0-1) @ Stingrays (0-1)
This will be the first (and technically only) matchup of a married couple in the league. Can a marriage survive a fantasy baseball game? Both of the Backus' lost their games last weekend to teams they *should* have beaten. But being close only counts in horseshoes. The Stingrays have been actively dumping players in the last few days to stop the bleeding, while the Margaritas look a little more solid. I really don't know who to support here, and apparently, my analysis sucks ass. So... um... if you're betting, bet on a tie.

DIVISION STANDINGS:

Hoagie-Grinder League (Record, Games Back)
1. Tiger Bandwagon (1-0, --)
2. Philly Cheesesteaks (1-0, --)
3. Mike Made Me Do This (1-0, --)
4. Pink Roos (1-0, --)
5. Pawtucket Red Sox (0-1, 1.0)
6. WickedGreen Monstahs (0-1, 1.0)

Deep Dish League
1. We Want a Touchdown (1-0, --)
2. Loons (1-0, --)
3. Knights of Darkness (0-0-1, 0.5)
4. Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (0-0-1, 0.5)
5. Stingrays I (0-1-0, 1.0)
6. Dirty Diamond D's (0-1-0, 1.0)
7. Margaritas (0-1-0, 1.0)
8. Hoot's Howitzers (0-1-0, 1.0)

Fantasy Hockey Drafting Rules

As was proposed, the Fantasy Hockey league will become a keeper league. This means that you get to keep some of your players from this past year's team. The rules on who you can keep, what you can do with the players, and what will happen with the draft next year will be posted here. Despite my bombastic attitude during the season, I do not want to make these decisions unilaterally so please comment on the proposed rules below:

1) Each existing team will be allowed to keep two (2) players from their current team and no more. There are no restrictions on what positions those two players can be. The final deadline to decide who will be kept will occur sometime after the Stanley Cup Finals but before our own expansion draft (see rule 2 below). These chosen players will be referred to as "Franchise Players."

2) At a later to be determined date (preceding the full fantasy draft), any new player who wishes to join our Fantasy Hockey League The Main Event will be allowed to participate in the "Expansion Draft." The Expansion Draft order will be randomly determined before the event. The event will be held offline, with participants posting their choices to a specifically enabled blog entry (this will allow everyone to see the draft picks quickly). The players eligible in the Expansion Draft will be any current NHL player who was not chosen as a franchise player. Each team participating in the expansion draft will be allowed two choices; one in round one and one in round two. Players selected in this expansion draft will also become "Franchise Players."

3) Once the expansion draft has been conducted, the order for the full draft will be posted. The draft order will be expansion teams followed by the teams from last season. For the first draft round, the expansion teams' order will be opposite what it was in the expansion draft; the returning teams' order will be opposite their final rankings (as seen here). Second round will reverse that order, with each successive round alternating (this is how Yahoo set up their drafts). The draft itself will most likely held offline through this blog. The decision about that will be made later in a separate post.

4) Once everyone has their Franchise Players and their draft positions, any of those can be traded as the owner sees fit. This means draft positions are up for trade as are franchise players. Whatever you think you want to do. The final trade will still go through the commissioner. Trades of this kind can be set up at any point but will not be made official until the draft order is established.

5) Proposed Changes to the Scoring System: There have been no calls to remove any stats used this past year, but a few adds have been suggested. Blocked shots (if Yahoo keeps track of them) could be added to give more weight to the defenders. Games Started could be added for goalies as an incentive to play goalies above and beyond the minimum. Shots-on-goal would reward tenacious players, though it may cripple anyone from the Sabres. The final scoring changes will be decided before the main draft is held.

6) Personnel Changes: It has also been suggested that a few more starter slots be added to the game (thus expanding the number of players on each team). Any suggestions on if and how many players should be added will be welcome.

Hopefully that's enough for now. Please Comment :)

Final Results - Nocturne's Killers Slaughter Competition

Final Standings in 2006-2007 Fantasy Hockey League "The Main Event" are as follows:

1. Nocturne's Killers (Stephen, East Lansing)
2. Thunder Bay (Andrew, Mason)
3. AmIGone (Charles, Norristown)
4. Ice Kinkajous (Nick, Farmington Hills)
5. Mighty Taco (Doug, Chicago)
6. Bombers (Bob, Midland)
7. Wicked Pissahs (Mike, Boston)
8. Windy City Matrix (Jen, Chicago)
9. chiefs (Jeff, Buffalo)
10. DaZ (Derek, Jackson)

After three grueling weeks of fantasy hockey playoffs, the results are finally in: Half of the teams had already dusted off their golf clubs and forgot to show up for the final two weeks. The other half put in their finest games yet, creating a series of rather lopsided victories.

chiefs pulled off their most important win of the season to keep off the bottom of the heap, defeating DaZ 7-3. Offense was the key to this victory with the chiefs doubling DaZ in penalty minutes and trouncing them in assists (13 point margin) and face-offs won (119 point margin)! The only silver lining for DaZ with this outcome is the high draft picks available next year. The chiefs, of course, will have a similar draft position and hope to continue their comeback next year.

Wicked Pissahs, disappointed at being left out of the big dance, vented their frustrations on Windy City Matrix, pounding them for a 9-2 victory. The only categories conceded were assists and power play points. Superb play from all involved gave the Pissahs their much deserved victory. The Pissahs hope to turn this final victory into momentum for next season. As for the Matrices, their experience gained over the course of the season moved them above the bottom and bodes well for their continued growth.

The Bombers and Mighty Taco were both idle this last week, having finished their series in the previous week. Both hope to prove that this years success was not a fluke with a strong comeback next year. Also, neither is willing to settle for the losing position in the Bowman league two years in a row. Expect big changes from these two.

AmIGone managed to save their season by beating Ice Kinkajous for third place overall. The 8-3 victory was assisted by good showings early on by their goalies, but ultimately cemented by a superb performance by the skaters. AmIGone dominated in plus-minus numbers (registering +30 in the first week alone) by a margin of 22 and in face-offs by a margin of 120. This was the closest of any of the final week matchups by far. Both teams look poised for next year to make a run at the finals.

Finally, in the matchup everyone was watching, Thunder Bay succumbed to Nocturne's Killers 8-2. In final quotes from the Bay, the manager Andrew expressed these feelings to Stephen, the manager of the Killers: "Congrats mate. I'll be gunnin' for you next year." At the other podium, the Killers couldn't contain their emotion, "Woohoo! I won as the big underdog!!" In a phone interview, the Killer's manager was quick to point out that his team went from fighting DaZ for the final playoff spot to winning it all, against all odds. (He also pointed out that DaZ failed to win another game, obviously demoralized by a superior force.) The Killers have set the bar for the league and look to be on everyone's radar next season. Once again, Congratulations to Nocturne's Killers!

Good Night and Good Luck.

Game 1 (April 1 - April 8, 2007)

Here we go dirt-dogs! The baseball season starts this Sunday evening with a game between the last year's NLCS loser New York Mets and the World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals. So, if you have 'Cards or 'Mets on your team, make sure that they are plugged into roster holes for this Sunday night! Most of the rest of your players will be available in the Opening Day orgy of baseball on April 2. GET READY!

In what will be a weekly tradition (since I have no life and even less free time), I will be posting the match ups for the week in a weekly email (which will usually be posted on Sunday, Monday if I'm hungover.)

#7 WickedGreen Monstahs (Boston) @ #8 Philly Cheeseteaks (Philadelphia)
It's chowdah vs. cheesesteaks! Lobstahs vs.... well whatever the hell else Philly is known for in artery-clogging cuisine. But, more importantly, it's a match up between which city is the better suburb of New York: Boston or Philly? GM Bowman I wants to take down the commish, and the Commish wants to make an early statement to prove his 5 preseason moves paid off from the get go. The winner of this match will be well on his way to the playoff bubble. The loser, will likely smack talk the other to death until they meet up again in Game #14.

#6 Pawtucket Red Sox of Providence @ #13 We Want a Touchdown (East Lansing)
In the first of this week's interleague matchups, we have the PawSox vs. the 'Footballers. The PawSox and GM Tigue are hoping for a strong showing from the real Red Sox pitching squad, while the 'Footballers are demanding severe retribution for their not-so-great showing in the power rankings. We Want a Touchdown could pull off an upset, especially if John Smoltz has a good start on April 2!

#10 Hoot's Howitzers (Chicago) @ #2 Tiger Bandwagon (New York)
So what does it take to win a fantasy game? Pitching or Offense? This East-West matchup may settle that question once and for all. The offensive powerhouse Howitzers made some interesting last minute pitching moves, which could make matters even more interesting against the power pitching Bandwagon. But, I will say this. Matt, BEAT BELSKY! IF YOU DO THIS, I WILL FORGIVE YOU FOR DRAFTING DAMON!

#5 Pink Roos (Providence) @ #11 Dirty Diamond D's (Chicago)
The Detroit Tigers dealt the Triple D's a blow this week, as both Ramon Santiago and Chris Shelton were optioned to Detriot's AAA team in Toledo. To make matters worse for the Triple D's Phillies Pitcher Freddy Garcia looks to start the season on the DL. The Roos, on the other hand look more in tact, with only Chicago pitcher Kerry Wood on the DL. But watch out, this game won't be easy, cause the Triple D's got Johan Santana! It ain't over till its over.

#12 Knights of Darkness (Detroit) @ #9 Gnome Gnorth Gninjas (Chicago)
MEDIC! The Gninjas have not had a good Spring Training, with pitching anchors Kenny Rogers and Eric Gange are both on the DL. To add to the Ginja's troubles, NL MVP Ryan Howard has been in a slump all spring. The Knights, on the other hand look healthy and have a pitching staff that's ON FIRE to start the season.

#14 Loons (Midland) @ #1 Stingrays I (Rockford)
The Rockford Yankees...er..uh, I mean Stingrays are ready to start their conquest... er uh, I mean annihilation of the West, but standing in their way first are the Midland Loons, determined not to roll over easily. Both teams are among the healthiest in the league right now, and the Loons have a very hot Justin Verlander at the front of their rotation. Can the Loons piece together enough of an offense to upset the Evil Empire of the West? Check back in on April 9th!

#3 Margaritas (Rockford) @ #4 Mike Made Me Do This (Boston)
Rounding off the week's matchups, it's the furthest West team vs. the furthest East team (depending on where these two are sitting in the room at a given moment). This match up is really a tossup, and to make the differentiation even harder, both of their shirt icons are the same color: red... the color of blood! Mwa ha ha ha ha! But seriously, both of these powerhouses will have some interesting issues to deal with in the first week. The Anti-Mike's may have some demotion to the minors issues, and the Margaritas have some minor injuries to their pitching staff.

That about covers it for this week. Don't forget to plug in your players for the week, and good luck!!!- The Commish
___________________________________________
The Bush Doctrine of Red Sox Nation: "You are either with us, or you are with the Evil Empire. There is no such thing as a fence-sitter-- or a "Mets Fan."

The End Is Here

This is it! The Final Week - the week the champion is crowned! It all comes down to this... after months of preparation, months of toiling, months of bringing excitement to the league, my team has failed miserably. And that's ok - I am not bitter or disappointed, I do not bear my brother ill will nor do I wish to see him crushed mercilessly. Equally, I do not wish my opponent Nick, manager of the Ice Kinkajous, ill in this upcoming battle for third place. Not at all. This is the excitement I had hoped for in our league. I am glad to see such an interesting ending. It will be so thrilling. Yay.

Oh - and don't mind that man behind the curtain. His bouts of swearing, hysteria, and weeping in no way relate to the outcome of the semi-finals.

Moving on.

Last week featured dazzling upsets in both the consolation (a.k.a. The NIT) and championship brackets! Lowly Windy City Matrix bested DaZ in a resounding 8-2 win to move into the final round. The Matrices will meeting Wicked Pissahs, who also posted a quality win over the chiefs 8-3. That will leave DaZ and the chiefs battling it out to remain off of the bottom of the heap.

In championship play, Mighty Taco's goalies put in a remarkable performance on their way to securing their 5th place ranking in the league. In related play, Nocturne's Killers pulled off a second upset in a row by narrowly defeating AmIGone 5-4. In review of the week's stats, the only way AmIGone would have been able to pull off a win was to drop Teemu Selane and add in Darcy Tucker. Such a move would have seemed extremely stupid and would probably have cost AmIGone the championship anyways. Such is the game. The result here puts Baby (a.k.a. The Unwanted Third) Bowman on top of the Bowman division, followed by the sagacious elder brother, the black sheep actor, and the Aged (see: Great Expectations). Nocturne's Killers face an uphill battle as they take on Thunder Bay, who have dominated the league for over three months. Thunder Bay came out victorious against the Ice Kinkajous, who couldn't muster enough goaltending to compete. The 7-4 win means that Thunder Bay, unlike AmIGone, did not suffer from a week off and will be tough to beat!

This sets the stage for the final matchups of the year! Details of the next season will be finalized only after a champion has been crowned. As DaZ and the chiefs battle to stay off bottom and Wicked Pissahs and Windy City Matrix have one more go at each other, eyes will probably move elsewhere. No, not to the lowly battle for third place, where Ice Kinkajous look to take their frustrations out on AmIGone. All eyes will be on the championship between Thunder Bay and Nocturne's Killers. The field is set, the "week's" (actually until Apr. 8th) games have been plotted, the players chosen (for now). The only question now is: Who will be the Zamboni and who will be the ice?

This message has been approved by the Ultimate Ruler (and editor) Emmaline.

Pre-Season Power Rankings!

All right you Sultans of Swat! With 13 days remaining until the start of the regular season, it's time to put prognostication skills to the test. I have reviewed your rosters, drafts, and Hot Stove moves to this point and have produced the following Power Rankings for the league. Get ready, there are some surprises here!

1) Stingrays I - Quite frankly, you can't mess with success. GM Jason Backus brought home the title of Yahoo Public League 63375 back in 2001, but the coveted fantasy trophy has eluded him ever since. But don't let his recent lack of championships catch you off guard. Backus has put together teams that have consistently placed in the top three in public leagues for the last six years. With Billy Bean-esque like consistency, he drafts good squads with the diligence of an ultra-nerd, even holding practice drafts in other leagues to make sure he's got the right squad. The work paid off and it shows. You are looking at the offensive powerhouse of the league. The Stingrays drafted seven fielders with 90+ Runs and RBIs. Watch out for that power. And, the pitching ain't bad either. Backus drafted 5 pitchers with 14+ wins last season. Watch out though, as it could be his Achilles heel, as many of his pitchers have high ERAs and HRs. Still, his offense should make up for any unforeseen shortfalls in pitching, putting him as the pre-season favorite to win it all.

2) Tiger Bandwagon - Anyone will tell you that Tiger Bandwagon GM, Brad Belsky is a stat-hungry, mathematical kinda guy. Aside from being a good human calculator, he knows how to crunch baseball stats. Sadly for him, in spite of his extensive fantasy baseball experience, he has never brought home a title in a Yahoo league-- effectively making him the Red Sox to the Stingray's Yankees. Could this be the year that his curse is broken? Only time will tell, but his draft makes him the preliminary favorite in the Hoaggie-Grinder League. The Bandwagon's strength lies in its pitching. Watch out for Chien-Ming Wang, Randy Johnson, AND Barry Zito. Belsky drafted a solid HR core too. But knowing the GM, he will never be satisfied. He's already made trades, and that will continue to be his MO for the remainder of the season. To quote Emperor Steinbrener, "If you don't like it... you're fired!" He's the favorite in the east, and will likely be nipping at the heels of the 'Rays all season.

3) Margaritas - The 'Rays main competition in the west will be literally on the other side of the house. Michigan native and Rockford GM Alix Backus' draft can best be described in one word: depth. Too bad she sold her soul to draft a bunch of worthless Yankees in order to get it! The Margaritas have five solid hitters as well as five solid pitchers with decent ERAs. Keep an eye on the amount of strikeouts she will rack up this year, it's going to be sick! And if there is any wasting away in Margaritaville, rest assured that GM Backus #2 has enough trading tokens to plug just about any hole. The Margaritas will be a top-tier team this year from the West.

4) Mike Made Me Do This - For the last time, I did not make her do this! But now, she's probably glad she did. She put her faith in the Yahoo rankings, and it certainly paid off, with a solid offensive core that will have no trouble scoring runs, hitting homers, stealing bases, and maintaining a decent batting average. To make matters worse for her eastern competitors, she has 3 15+ win pitchers, and a 30+ save closer with Tom Gordon. Watch out, her weakness this season will be pitching ERA and Errors. However, this will not be enough to derail her from wins throughout the season. So long as she keeps an eye on the team, look for this Boston gal from Jersey in the playoffs come September. (And it will be annoying the crap out of her baseball-crazy boyfriend, for sure.)

5) Pink Roos - The cross-apartment rivalry in Providence proves to be one of the more interesting match ups of this 2007 season. The Pink Roos top the Pawtucket Red Sox due to GM Kate Warren's die-hard, rookie determination in scoping out possible draft picks early. Her pre-rankings and #1 overall draft pick worked wonders, and proves that she knows her baseball. The Roos look to be a home run producing and base stealing machine. But the real killer is the Roos pitching staff! If she gets in an offense pinch later in the season, she should be able to trade away a pitcher for a little more offensive umph. But in the meantime, the Roos shall rule Rhode Island. It's a small dominion, but it will be hers nonetheless.

6) Pawtucket Red Sox - In keeping with the tradition of the Angels, this team should officially be known as the Pawtucket Red Sox of Providence. The PawSox of Pro-town came out of Wednesday's draft very strong, with the most evenly distributed batting stats in the league. GM Patrick Tigue drafted a lot of Red Sox, as his name would suggest, but hey, the Sox kick ass! The PawSox will likely be hitting a lot of home runs this season, making them a solid offensive power. The real interesting thing to watch will be the PawSox pitching squad. The GM drafted two 16 game winners in Roy Halladay and Josh Beckett, but also drafted the highly-touted Daisuke Matsuzaka (Dice-K). If Dice-K is the phenom every Sox fan hopes he is, there will be some celebrations down in Providence (not to mention the rest of New England), particularly if Mr. Tigue upsets his cross-apartment rival, the Pink Roos.

7) WickedGreen Monstahs - This is not GM Mike Carroll's first foray into the world of fantasy sports. The problem remains that he has CONSISTENTLY placed next to last in almost every fantasy league he's ever been a part of, putting him on par with Matt Millen of the Detroit Lions. But don't let his Boston colloquialisms fool you, he's come to play, with the intention of remaining competitive with the powerhouses of the East. In proving this, he's already engaged a fire sale of his draft, making four moves before play has even begun. Since doing so, the Monstahs have put together a solid pitching squad and a better rounded offense. The Monstahs will not win every category, but they should eek out enough victories to make it to the playoff bubble come September. Look out for the solid D. The Monstahs, like the 2006 Red Sox look to play a lot of error free ball this year.

8) Philly Cheesesteaks - In what is likely to result in some form of protest from GM Charles 'the Chuckster' Bowman, the Philly Cheesesteaks look at first glance to come at the bottom of the Hoaggie-Grinder League out East. But, Mr. Bowman is not down and out, and will likely start a heated rivalry with the Monstahs in Boston for the last playoff spot. Quite frankly, the Cheesesteaks are about equal with the Monstahs in offense and pitching. The only reason he's lower in line is because of his incessant nagging about when these power rankings would be posted. We'll get our first glimpse of this Boston-Philly match up in week 1. Prove me wrong Chuck, and I'll see you in the playoffs.

9) Gnome Gnorth Gninjas - Did anyone else catch themselves pronouncing this teams name wrong when they first read it? Sheesh. The 'Ninjas are also on the same level as the Monstahs and the Cheesesteaks, probably behind those two teams only by a batter. The real question for the Silent G's is reliever Eric Gagne. Will the Texas reliever play more than two games this year and round out the 'Ninja's relief core? If so, the 'Ninjas will also be on the playoff bubble. If not, they will have to go looking for a reliever and an extra bat mid season.

10) Hoot's Howitzers - Don't mess with the United States Military. I could say a lot of depreciating things about Howitzer's GM Matt Carroll, but he'd probably kick my ass, so let's just talk about his team. Wait a second, I can't just let this go... I am about two seconds from tearing up my brother's Red Sox Nation membership card for drafting Johnny "I Sold My Soul to Satan and Then Chopped Off My Hair" Damon. Dude! What were you thinking?!? I SHOULD DISOWN YOU AS A BROTHER!

The 'Hows have one of the better benches of the mid-tier teams, headed up by Big Papi himself, David Ortiz. The 'Hows potential weakness is in its pitching. It's very Chicago heavy, and most have ERAs over 4. Picking up another reliever could be the key to a new renaissance in Chicago.

11) Dirty Diamond D's - The Triple D's and their GM Jen (last name withheld cause she wouldn't tell me) picked the crown jewel of the pitching free agents in the draft last Wednesday, coveted starter Johan Santana from Minnesota, and to top it off added 17 game winner Freddy Garcia. The Triple D's weakness this season lie in the catcher and in the outfield. Mike Piazza is not the great catcher he once was, and more offensive production will be necessary to propel the D's forward. This is my sleeper special though folks! A couple of quick moves, and Jen (last name withheld cause she wouldn't tell me) launches ahead of most of the boys in front of her!

12) Knights of Darkness - There have been better times for this storied Detroit-based franchise run by GM Nick Enlow. Mr. Enlow won the now-defunct predecessor to this league, the "Wolverine Cross-Campus Nerds," back in 2003, bringing victory and glory to his dominion. But sadly, these days are, to quote D-town legend Ernie Harwell, "looooooong gone." The Knights have a decent offensive core, but its at the expense of its pitching squad, which needs some more depth, and is led by aging veteran Roger Clemens. If Clemens does decide to play later this season(and it better not be with the Yankees...) , look for the Knights to surge ahead a few rankings. A few trades and a couple of waiver picks and the Knights will be playing September baseball again!

13) We Want a Touchdown - The Commish certainly hopes that GM Stephen Bowman realizes that a touchdown is a football term, but... well. The "Footballers," in spite of their sport confusion will have a solid offensive squad this year, led by the pick of the catchers, Joe Mauer. The Footballers could use a little help with their pitching squad over the next couple of weeks. They are loaded up with the "yute" (youth) and have a 16 game winner in Atlanta's consistent John Smoltz, but the bench is not very deep. And with Pedro "Petey the Punk" Martinez in your rotation, nobody can say for sure if the Footballers pitching staff will last the whole season. I'll be looking for the Footballers to make a couple of midseason moves to stay in the race.

14) Loons - So, does father really know best? The patriarch of the Bowman clan from Midland. MI, Robert Bowman, believes that this old adage will pay off as he goes against the youngins in the League. Mr. Bowman drafted a goos pitching squad, with Detroit namesake Justin Verlander and Yankee golden boy Andy Pettitte. But the Loons seem to lack a true namesake offensive player, aside from whining poster child Frank Thomas and confessed STEROID USER and OUTRIGHT CHEATING LOSER Jason Giambi (sorry, Red Sox fan). Only time will tell if the rest of the offensive core pays off.

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Some of you may be thrilled in your rankings. Some of you may want to parade my head on a pike through Boston Common. In spite of the rankings this league looks to be ultra-competative in the coming weeks. For those of you towards the bottom, don't be discouraged. These rankings are all based on paper, not facts. Injuries happen, players have break-out years, and old geezers break down. If we based every season on pre-season paper stats then the following would have happened:

1) The Yankees would win the World Series every year.
2) The Tigers would have placed third in the AL Central last year.
3) A National League team would never win it all... like the Cardinals did last year.

So good luck! I invite you all to comment on this post. Or, even propose your own power rankings!

Cheers,
Daaaaa Commish

Round 1 Done

Round One has ended with two astounding performances! Nocturne's Killers and Ice Kinkajous each trounced their opponents (Mighty Taco and Bombers respectively) with a masterful 7-3 victory! In games where the goaltending was not a large factor (2-1), skating proved to be the arena where the contenders bested the pretenders.

To start of this week's action, the consolation bracket gets underway with DaZ taking on Windy City Matrix and the chiefs taking on Wicked Pissahs. Will DaZ prove that his relegation down to the consolation bracket was a fluke? Will the chiefs finally live up to their Tinseltown roots? Will Windy City Matrix play spoiler or have to settle for blood in baseball? Will Wicked Pissahs learn that hockey is played on ice with pucks and does not, in fact, involve hitting any wicked pissahs out of the pahk (unless you want to draw a penalty)? Find out as the consolation bracket commences...

In the championship bracket, the losers from round one will have one final hurrah as they battle for 5th position. No matter the outcome, these two Bowmans will have to live with the knowledge they were inferior in their hockey knowledge to AmIGone and Nocturne's Killers. Fittingly, AmIGone and the Killers will duke it out this week for Bowman Family bragging rights and a chance at the title! On the other side, Ice Kinkajous is looking to play spoiler against an intimidatig Thunder Bay, who are just coming off of a one week rest. Can either of the lower seeds break into the final? Tune in and find out!

I am Charles Bowman, Hockey Commissioner, and I approve this message.